again, relocating myself

I'm always trying to find my place. Not because I'm lost, unsure or confused, but because of what the inner experience suppose, a constant realisation and recall of the existential and ontological dislocation that our simple life and being is (a factual reality, just a throw-in-the-world, as Heidegger puts it).

no passion - no action

Ma simt cam mihnit si trist. Aseara m-am intilnit cu citiva prieteni ai unui prieten, invitat fiind sa prezint ceva din ceea ce ma preocupa. Am ajuns sa povestesc despre samanism, si sa fiu, vrind ne vrind, un avocat al samanismului. Insa in momentul in care am motivat acest advocacy prin reactia directa la problemele sociale, culturale si de mediu datorate precaritatii in care se afla lumea occidentala, oamenii prezenti s-au eschivat. Mi-au dat de inteles ca sint departe de ei toate aceste lucruri, si ca ce i-ar interesa pe ei ar fi partea exotica din samanism sau eventual partea exotica din a gindi si a filosofa. Subit, am remarcat ca fara pasiunea si empatia activista pe care speram sa le-o insflu celorlalti, tot demersul meu era sterp, sec.
Pentru mine, cam tot ceea ce fac vine din considerente civice si sociale, motivatia mea este una activista chiar daca cautarea si finalitatea este una spirituala, iar unealta principala in acesta cautare este filosofia. Fara imboldul si energia activista cautarea mea nu ar mai avea nici un farmec...

OK! My mind is philosphic, but my soul and passion are pretty activists and I want to be filled by nature's vital energies...

I got this clear idea last night that I couldn't jump right into shamanic practice and then go to my job, surf the net, do small talk and just live my life in the consumerist society; I feel like this isn't a sincere and meaningful way of living.
I don't want to offend no one, but I think we are far away of what indigenous people feel and understand. In a way, all modern humans are stuck into their cultural and social condition. More than this, we have a so complex and perverse cultural condition that I, personally, just can not say "let's get back to shamanism", to the primitivism that every aspect of our culture hates it...

I think that shamanism must be done CAREFULLY, not because of angry spirits, but because of our twisted cultural programming through which we process everything. Carefully means that we have to INTEGRATE the animistic and magic believes of shamanism into most of our cultural aspects that define us. We must link them at the meaning level of our being. Before I do shamanic practice I want to demanstrate that there is magic around my desk, in the computer and when we talk about the weather, and this must be done in proper words and with relevant meanings.
I've studied philosophy and I made it my profession, I certainly see most of the things through this more or less permanent cultural and social condition; so, for me, the proper words and the relevant meanings that instruct me about shamanism must resonate with my philosophic background and with philosophy in general, as it is in the schools and in our modern lives.

All of my efforts here are part of this philosophical and theoretical integration of psychedelia, shamanism, magic, etc.

Doar ce am vizitat seiturile lui Ross Heaven si Howard G. Charing si am simtit din nou ecoul chemarii lui Flavio. Apoi, vazind ca exista o "consistenta" a acestei chemari pe care nu am banuit-o pina acum, am dat un search google la "shamanis" si am gasit http://www.shamanicteachers.com/welcome/welcomeromanian.html. Sint uimit de faptul ca e tradus si in romaneste si ca poate exista invatatori si in Romania :)...

Am privit shamnismul prin prisma contraculturii psichedelice, a gindirii lui Mckenna in deosebi. Nu am banuit ca shamanismul ar putea fi o credinta si o practica vie in lumea occidentala. Incep sa ma simt atras si de aceeasta parte a problemei, cu toate ca am anumite rezerve visavis de simulacrul ontologic pe care notiunea de samanism si practica ca atare o dezvolta vrind-ne-vrind in mintea si sufletul nostru.

(Imi dau seama ca exista de fapt cel putin 2 nivele ale simulacrului ontologic: anume unul estetic sau adus de interesul prin el insusi, de placerea prin esa insasi - asa cum ar aparea in cultura psihedelica de exemuplu, si unul etic sau practic, adus de modul in care este folosit, uzat lucrul, gindul sau fapta cu pricina - un exemplu cum asa cum am declarat deja ar fi coreshamanismul...)

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I've just saw the websites of Ross Heaven and Howard G. Charing, and I've felt again the echo of Flavio's calling. There's a real deal going on with this type of calling among a lot of people, I've never imagine it could be so "heavy"; so, I've googled about it and found this http://www.shamanicteachers.com/welcome.html. I'm amazed that this is also translated in romanian and I presume that there may be some shaman instructors in Romania :)...

I've always looked shamanism through psychedelic counter-culture glasses, mostly through Mckenna's eyes and thoughts. I've never belived that shamanism could be a faith and a practice in the West. I begin to feel more and more attracted by this side of the issue, 'though I have some reserves concerning the ontological simulacrum of the notion of shamanism and the usage and the practice of what shamanism means to Europeans and westerners.

(I think there are at least two kinds of ontological simulacrum: one is related to aesthetics and to the shamanic study itself and the pleasure itself produced inside us - as it is in the psychedelic culture, for instance; and one that is related to practice and the ethic of how shamanic knowledge is used by the soul and it is reflected by the facts - an example as I already wrote is the coreshamanism...)

Ieri am trecut pe la librarie din intimplare si am gasit "Shaman - Spiritul plantelor (Căile străvechi de vindecare a sufletului) de Ross Heaven & Howard G. Charing. Nu cunosc autorii, insa mi-a dat un feeling revigorant (cautam mai de demult ceva asemanator) si, uitându-ma mai atent, am vazut ca introducerea era facuta de Pablo Amaringo, apoi am gasit si un citat de T. Mckenna. Am cumparat-o, iar seara tirziu am inceput sa ii citesc primele pagini. Am fost lovit de asemanarea mesajului de la sfirsitul introducerii lui P. Amaringo cu strigatul lui Flavio din finalul filmului "The Shamans of the Amazon": "Eu ,Pablo, spun tuturor celor ce traiesc in Amazonia si in celalalte paduri ale lumii ca trebuie sa iubeasca plantele pamintului lor si tot ce se afla acolo!". (Textele celor 2 autori se fac patrunse de aceasta chemare, cred ca ele sunt niste marturii valoroase ale atitudinii cvazisamanice. Urmeaza sa ma dumiresc mai bine citindu-le...)

Oricum ideea esta ca s-a trezit din nou imboldul de a-mi oglindi cumva cautarile.

Intradevar exista o teorie sau o filosofie dupa care ma ghidez si pe care o dezvolt insa nu prea se potriveste cu gindul de a urmarii constructia unui proiect intelectual, de a ma absorbi munci de a o redacta intr-un limbaj exegetic; deoarece, in acelasi timp cred in altceva mai mult decit in proprietatea intelectuala occidentala sau in modelul intelectualului modern, considerind ca de fapt toate cautarile si teoriile mele tin de o intelepciune ce depaseste propria-mi persoana si care vibreaza in sufletul si mintea oricarui om. Vreau sa disipez tot ceea ce ma incearca si ma formeaza, cautarile si asertiuniile mele personale, vreau sa fiu cuprins de aceasta intelepciune si ea sa se perpetueze prin gindurile mele, nu vreau sa o prind, sa o bat in cuie si sa arat cu degetul spre ea, cit pot, prin ceea ce fac si spun las sa se oglindeasca gindurile si credinta mea ca si cum as scrie o carte.

Lupta impotriva curentului inertial a ceea ce trebuie sa faci...